pheliskougra: (vogon)
[personal profile] pheliskougra
Location: Deli at my favorite supermarket

Short line, but at the front there was a lady harassing one of the two deli workers. Imagine a shrill, strident voice, loaded with generous helpings of arrogance:

"Slice it thiiiiiiiiiiiinn! Slice it thiiiiiiiiiiiinn! No, start over, thiiiiiiiiiiiinn like a bible's pages!" The Deli worker was slicing one sample slice, bringing it to the woman. Lady would roll it between her fingers a bit, take a bite then toss it on the floor and resume her screeching for thinner slices.

After some of that, with the line growing while the Screeching One continued her wastage and shrill harassment, she came up with this gem: "Slice it thiiiiiiiiiiiinn, damn you, slice it thiiiiiiiiiiiinn or I will fuck you!"

The deli worker, male, without missing a beat, replied in a very apologetic customer-servicey tone: "Thank you for the offer, ma'am, but I am happily married and even if I were not, you are just not my type."

The Screeching One was, understandably, laughed off the area by the whole line.

Date: 2009-06-23 12:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icepearls.livejournal.com
nice one :p

Date: 2009-06-23 02:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsyoku.livejournal.com
hahaha WAT.

"I will FUCK YOU."

That is certainly threatening, ma'am, for that is definitely one of the most undesirable things you could do to me.

Date: 2009-06-23 04:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] surrey-sucks.livejournal.com
Ha!

"Slice it thiiiiiiiiiiiinn, damn you, slice it thiiiiiiiiiiiinn or I will fuck you!"

WTF?
Edited Date: 2009-06-23 04:20 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-06-23 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bigfluffball.livejournal.com
Why didn't she just buy packaged wafer thin ham?

Date: 2009-06-23 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] immortalthief.livejournal.com
Clearly that is one unhappy woman.

Did you at least enjoy Your deli meet?

Date: 2009-06-23 08:57 pm (UTC)
aisforamy: december 2011 (d'oh Alice)
From: [personal profile] aisforamy
I would have tossed her ass out the first time she threw something on the floor--after making her pick it up.

Date: 2009-06-23 08:57 pm (UTC)
aisforamy: december 2011 (d'oh Alice)
From: [personal profile] aisforamy
... now I want a ham sandwich.

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